NOTES ON MOM
By Selma Friedman
Mom visited me in Van Nuys just before Pesakh some time in the 1990’s. We had just moved in to our new home in February 1990 so Mom must have been at least 86. I marveled at how she bounced up and down the stairs. She was so light on her feet. She also was not lazy. I told her I had in mind to clean the “de karne almaryo” but decided it could wait another day. Mom said, “No”, got a chair, climbed up and started emptying the shelves. Before I knew it, everything was washed, cleaned and put back. She taught me to just “do” the job rather than to think about doing it. In other words, thinking about doing it took more energy than the actual doing it. It’s a lesson I’ll never forget.
Mom could work circles around me. We both decided to bake one day. I was going to make a cake for which I had a great recipe, and Mom decided to make some bicochos, panesikos and panderikas. By the time I got out my cookbook, got out my ingredients, got out my bowls and my utensils and started measuring, Mom was done baking all three things.
One of Mom’s phrases that stays with me is “I’m not afraid of my kids”. We teased her about it but we knew she meant she was proud of all of us and had faith that we would succeed in whatever we attempted.
She loved us all but she had a special affection for my brother Al. First because he was named after her beloved father, and second because (as she tells it) he saved her life when he was just a toddler. The story goes that Mom was in the basement doing her laundry when her hair got caught in the rollers (remember the old washing machines with the rollers that squeezed the water out?) Al, the toddler, came running to see what the matter was. In so doing he tripped over the cord to the washing machine, pulling it out of the socket, thereby stopping the rollers and “saving” Mom’s life.
I don’t know how much of a vacation it was for Mom when we as a family went on vacation because she always took, bedding, food, pots and pans, clothing etc. While we kids tramped in and out of the cabin, Mom was always there cooking, feeding us, cleaning up after us and I often wondered what kind of a vacation it was for her. No matter how hard it was on her, she truly enjoyed it.
She loved Thursday afternoons when my Dad would come back from shopping at the Public Market with bags filled with produce. Mom unpacked the bags with the anticipation of a child opening a present. Whatever Dad bought, was what she cooked.
I thank G-d Almighty that her gave her such a long and healthy life (up until a year and a half ago) and I also thank Mom’s three angels who came to visit her regularly, before the stroke and even after. Rosie, Sally and Jerry, I will never forget what you did for my Mom. You have our deepest appreciation.
Mom was known as “fancy aunty” to most of her nieces and nephews. This was attributed to the fact that Mom had a good eye for fashion and always looked her best. She didn’t wear expensive clothes but what she wore always looked good on her.
Mom never considered herself an animal lover but animals sure loved her. They seemed to sense her kindness. When I first got my bird, Greta Adatto Friedman, Mom didn’t like her. But before too long, Mom would call me in L.A. and ask to speak to Greta. In her Ladino accent she would say, “Greta, Greta, it’s Nona”. When I put Greta close to the phone and she heard Mom’s voice, she would start chirping in a conversational tone. Mom was sure she was speaking directly to her.
I once took Mom to a Shaarey Zedek Sisterhood meeting hosted by a woman who owned a dog. As we came in and sat down, the hostess warned all of us not to touch the dog because the dog wasn’t used to strangers. That suited Mom just fine. Wouldn’t you know it, the dog came straight over to Mom and started licking her. And Mom was crazy about my two nephews Feivel and Noki. They knew a softie when they saw one and loved her panderikas.
I just got a call from a niece in California when she heard about Mom’s passing. She told me she’ll always remember my Mom as baking biscochos. I’ll always remember her for that too. I’m going to miss her a lot but I know she’s at peace now.